Some of you may not realize it, but you play a large part in the success of your child’s swimming career. I don’t care if your child is in it for recreation, or wants to become one of the best swimmers in the world. You are a very important part in setting his or her personal goals in this sport. “How is that?” you may ask. Well, I’m going to give you some examples and tips on how to be the ideal swimming parent.

Looking back on when I was a young, talented (yeah, right!), age-group swimmer, I remember being overjoyed when I had to go to the 111th Street YMCA in Chicago for swim practice. It was usually the highlight of my day after breakfast. One of the reasons I liked going to practice was the many friends that I had through swimming. We would fool around, sometimes get into trouble and work very hard when we were there. We weren’t the best swimmers in the state of Illinois, but I bet we had the most fun.

Another reason I enjoyed going to practice was that it gave me a break from my loving parents (or was it that they got a break from their loving son…?).

My parents would drop me off and let the swim coaches deal with their holy terror of a son. There was a trust factor there between my parents and my coach. My parents trusted and believed in my coaches, so it made the coaches’ job a lot easier. Even though I was young, I noticed that strong relationship. This made me a happier, better swimmer.

Swimming was such an enjoyable experience for my friends and me that we always looked forward to doing it. If we did something wrong at home or school, our punishment would be no swim practice, and for me, not going to swim practice was like getting a needle from the doctor in the rear end -- terrible! My parents wanted me to always do my best and have fun in swimming, but they made sure I had my priorities straight. My parents believed that respect, discipline and education were the keys to making me a good person -- NOT swimming. They believed if I had those three virtues instilled in my life, I would be a better person, and also, by the way, a better swimmer.

Those three things are all I learned from my parents about swimming. They never told me how I should swim a race. They never talked to me about my stroke technique. They NEVER tried to coach me through any part of swimming. Do you know why? It is because my parents are part of a group known as “dumb swimming parents.”

This is one of the main ingredients in being an ideal swimming parent. Though my mom knew how to swim, she always acted like she knew nothing about the sport. And my dad actually did know nothing about the sport. He was a boxer when he was younger, and all he ever told me to do was “Attack!” just like any boxer would say. They never put any sort of pressure on me. All they did was support me, no matter how I performed. My dad would give me a kiss on the head and say, “Good job, peanut head.” The unconditional love and positive support from my parents put me ahead of a lot of my competition. Though my competitors may have beaten me sometimes, I always knew I had my parents there to help me feel good about what I had tried to achieve, and I wouldn’t give up.

Here at Greater Toledo Aquatic Club, we have a very good group of energetic children who want to learn how to become better competitive swimmers. As coaches, it is our job and our duty to help them to achieve their goals as only swim coaches can. Please trust us to do that job. By standing back and allowing us to do our job, you show your child that we are worthy of their trust and that they should be comfortable to form a solid coach/swimmer relationship with us. Only you can be the parent, giving that unconditional love and teaching them the virtues they need to be successful adults. 

If you focus on that, and that alone, the swimming will come along, too.

by Rose Snyder, Managing Director Coaching Division, USOC Former Director of Club Services, USA Swimming (adapted from Ed Clendaniel's 10 Commandments for Little League Parents) I. Thou shalt not impose thy ambitions on thy child. Remember that swimming is your child's activity. Improvements and progress occur at  different rates for each individual. Don't judge your child's progress based on the performance of other athletes and don't push him based on what you think he should be doing. The nice thing about swimming is every person can strive to do his personal best and benefit from the process of  competitive swimming. II. Thou shalt be supportive no matter what. There is only one question to ask your child after a practice or a competition - "Did you have fun?" If meets and practices are not fun, your child should not be forced to participate. III. Thou shalt not coach thy child. You are involved in one of the few youth sports programs that offers professional coaching. Do not undermine the professional coach by trying to coach your child on the side. Your job is to provide love and support. The coach is responsible for the technical part of the job. You should not offer advice on technique or race strategy. Never pay your child for a performance. This will only serve to confuse your child concerning the reasons to strive for excellence and weaken the swimmer/coach bond. IV. Thou shalt only have positive things to say at a swimming meet. You should be encouraging and never criticize your child or the coach. Both of them know when mistakes have been made. Remember “yelling at” is not the same as “cheering for”. V. Thou shalt acknowledge thy child's fears. New experiences can be stressful situations. It is totally appropriate for your child to be scared. Don't yell or belittle, just assure your child that the coach would not have suggested the event or meet if your child was not ready. Remember your job is to love and support your child through all of the swimming experience. VI. Thou shalt not criticize the officials. Please don't criticize those who are doing the best they can in purely voluntary positions. VII. Honor thy child's coach. The bond between coach and swimmer is special. It contributes to your child's success as well as fun. Do not criticize the coach in the presence of your child. VIII. Thou shalt be loyal and supportive of thy team It is not wise for parents to take swimmers and to jump from team to team. The water isn't necessarily bluer in another team's pool. Every team has its own internal problems, even teams that build champions. Children who switch from team to team find that it can be a difficult emotional experience. Often swimmers who do switch teams don't do better than they did before they sought the bluer water. IX. Thy child shalt have goals besides winning. Most successful swimmers have learned to focus on the process and not the outcome. Giving an honest effort regardless of what the outcome is, is much more important than winning. One Olympian said, "My goal was to set a world record. Well, I did that, but someone else did it too, just a little faster than I did. I achieved my goal and I lost. Does this make me a failure? No, in fact I am very proud of that swim." What a tremendous outlook to carry on through life. X. Thou shalt not expect thy child to become an Olympian. There are 250,000 athletes in USA Swimming. There are only 52 spots available for the Olympic Team every four years. Your child's odds of becoming an Olympian are about .0002%.

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